Blog 5 -- This Isn't About You

The Francisco House residents generally -- due to learned necessity -- play their emotions close to the chest. Therefore reaction to our documentary crew has been, above all else, muted.

That's not to say that we don't have any idea of how they feel about us. Most of the gentlemen seem pretty apathetic about the whole thing -- a mild irritation mixed with an unassailable ability to shut out unpleasant things. As problems go, eager college students rate much lower on the scale than unionized prison guards. For the most part, we are tolerated, with some minor crests into open and friendly relations. Ralph, for example, is uniformly warm; JC couldn't be unfriendly if his life depended on it.

But these are men well used to disappointment and predatory social settings, so most of our interaction is either quiet, distanced acknowledgement, or a more genial experience that nevertheless lets you past that initial mask. Which of course makes it just like every other human interaction in the world.

What I mean is that our presence is neither appreciated or resented, it just is. The guys certainly understand what we're trying to do. Some of them even hope it might somehow affect their situation -- like Ralph, who obviously hopes to hone his public speaking skills in the documentary interviews, and eventually begin trying to brand himself as a writer and niche motivational speaker. These are good guys, but they've been burned far too many times to get truly excited about the mere promise of anything.

As for our emotional response to their attitude -- fairly realistic, is I guess the way I'd put it. Most of our group is excited to engage with those fellows who will talk. I also know that Cathy has found a spiritual connection with a couple of the guys in the house, something truly moving. On the other hand, none of us are in any rush to try and get the more reticent members to open up. We take what they'll give, but we've had no time and no opportunity to prove ourselves worth more than that which they're willing to share. In the end, I think that'll be enough, at least for our purposes, and for theirs. Nobody ever got disappointed by expecting the worst.