The Reality

Last night we met Carlos, an ex-gang member who just turned 18. We met him at his house, with his baby sister on his knee. Amalia and her husband introduced us and kindled the conversation while he got comfortable. She warned us that Carlos was shy, and this was definitely the case at the outset. However, after reading a few of his poems and hearing such positive feedback, he began to read with more intensity and explain them in more depth. As he spoke, it was difficult not to wonder at how such graceful reflection had sprang from such a chaotic life. Everyone in the room seemed to have the same sense of wonder as compliments and praise fell from their lips.

Upon later reflection, I wondered where this type of praise comes from. I’m not sure that makes much sense here, but what I mean to say is that I found myself somewhat tongue-tied by the situation. We all seemed to feel a great desire to tell Carlos that he would succeed, that he would go to college, and that all the guilt and pain he feels could be turned into wisdom and an antidote for those in similarly dangerous situations. However, the situation is not so simple. What Carlos seems to be aware of, far more than any of us, is that things will never be easy for him. From a sociological perspective, I can rattle off all the reasons why, but being face to face with someone who simply wants a minimum wage job and cannot get it because he is undocumented, well it all seems sort of ineffectual.

I guess my main point is this: I started out really wanting to provide a well-rounded perspective on the groups we work with – one that doesn’t isolate them as simply a sad story, but empowers them to suggest change and displays the energy that emanates from families of the incarcerated. However, I did not expect that we could fall toward the other end of the spectrum and paint an entirely rosy and inspirational picture of a very complex issue, and person. I hope that we will be able to work with Carlos to form something that explores the depth of the relationship between gangs and family, though it is alluring to settle on his own inspirational story.