Meeting Carlos

Meeting Carlos was a day I will never forget. Inspirational doesn’t even begin to describe what that meeting was like. Carlos is a seventeen-year old teenager who has been through more than most go through in an entire lifetime. As he liked to put it, he “cheated death” a couple times. Carlos is an ex-gang member who spent time in Juvenile Hall and is trying to pull his life together. Not only is he trying to pull his life together, but he is succeeding at it. He is back in high school and is averaging A’s and B’s.

While Carlos was in Juvenile Hall, he began to write poetry as a form of coping with all that he was going through. At our first meeting, he shared a few of his poems with us. These poems were all so emotional, inspiring, uplifting and not to mention motivational. Each poem had a special meaning behind and a few even brought me to tears. To imagine all that he has gone through was simply unimaginable. While he was reading his poems, I realized that not only can he learn from us, but we can learn from him as well.

Although Carlos is undocumented, which makes his life and dreams that much harder to aspire to, it was truly a gift to be able to meet him to see all the fire that he had in him and hear everything that he had to share. I truly believe that Carlos can conquer anything he puts his head to. He has thus far!

He shared with us that his mother was the main reason that he was able to pull his life back together and while I was there I was really able to see that they were a loving family, no different than any other. They welcomed us with open arms, not to mention he has the cutest little sister that I couldn’t keep my eyes off of.

With the help of wonderful people like Amalia and Mothers of the Incarcerated, Carlos was able to really get it together. Having such motivational people around him I think will be a key in helping him stay on the right track. He even worked for Homeboy Industries for a little while and was able to give back to others. Carlos inspired me and showed me that if you put your head into something, commit yourself and really strive for something, there’s nothing you can’t do. He’s living proof of that.

“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.”-Reba McEntire. Not only is this one of my favorite quotes, but it instantly reminded me of Carlos.

First Mothers of the Incarcerated Meeting

The first time we attended the Mothers of the Incarcerated meeting, I knew I was in for a treat, but I didn’t know what exactly to expect. When we walked in at 9 a.m. I saw people gathered in the kitchen having breakfast, which made for a very welcoming environment. Everyone was super friendly and eager to meet us. Amalia along with the rest of the women welcomed us with open arms.

When the meeting began everyone was together, a little later the meeting divided into two groups. One group that was just beginning to share and go on the emotional journey of trying to talk and heal all that they’ve been through and the other group was in their second phase of healing.

Although everything was spoken in Spanish and I am not a fluent Spanish speaker, I felt all the emotions in the room from start to finish. When the women went around the table introducing themselves and sharing their stories, I felt like I actually was able to understand their stories through their emotions. At times I found myself tearing up just based off of all the emotions in the room. When some of these stories were actually translated for me I really understood their stories and truly felt for all these women. They are no different than any other mother. They just wanted to be there for their children. Some of these women lost all their children to death or to incarceration and they are just trying to cope with all the pain. This has to be the hardest thing any mother could ever go through. I could never imagine or want to imagine what kind of pain these women are trying to deal with. What surprised me the most was that there were some young girls there. I actually thought it was amazing that they came to heal with their family as a unit.

During a break, I met Brenda, who heads the second group. The second group knits while they share and continue their healing process. Brenda’s brother is in jail and she’s been trying to be proactive to pass laws to help get him out. She is truly passionate about what she is doing and it really shows when she speaks.

Amalia is a true inspiration and rock for all these women. The fact that she can bring them together in such an environment to help them heal and cope with their loses is an extremely admirable thing to do. If not for her, who would do it? It’s an absolute fantastic idea for these women to get together, it’s a form of group therapy which will definitely help them down the line.

Check out short films and vote for what you think is good!

Hey Guys,

I thought this would be a great opportunity to look at a few more documentaries/short films, and what we think is good. Here is a great site to check out short videos and vote for a USC short film competition, for the viewers choice award. Check it out!

http://dornsife.usc.edu/vhi/studentvoices/vote/

Good luck with everything!


Juan Espinoza

Progress at West Adams

Our first challenge in visiting West Adams was conveying the goals of the project to the students of the class. On our last visit to the classroom before spring break, we passed out flip cameras to students and asked them to film things in their lives when they went home. Because we’d been discussing their interests in music, we told them that they might want to record themselves in places where they listen to music, but that they could film whatever they were inspired to record. When we came back to the class last week, there was a total of about a minute of footage. We had to adapt our strategy to be much more specific. Last week, we discussed individual topics – college, music, health/sports – and then picked specific students who were outspoken about one of the topics and gave them the flip cams. We’re hoping that by giving them some direction, they will be able to find something or someone to record.

Another issue we had was in coming up with an overall plan for our documentary. We knew that the students wanted to involve music, but our idea of recording a music video did not in itself provide insight into the lives of the students. Our solution was to have the students write lyrics to the music video based on their interests. Because they repeatedly talked about sports, college and music as inspirations in their lives, these subjects would be the topics of each verse. Our goal is to observe the ways in which they think about these topics, and see how their lives influence the writing of the song. The end of the documentary will be a performance of the song. We’re in the early filming stages, but when we have more footage, we hope that we will have a better idea of how successful this type of project will be.

Overall we’re excited to have started filming and to have a direction that our project is headed in. I hope that we we’re back on Wednesday, the students will have recorded some footage at home. We’ve had four visits so far and I think the class as a whole is starting to get used to our presence. I’ve taken on the approach of asking specific students questions in order to make sure they know I’m interested in what they have to say.

Moving along!

I think it's safe to say that my group and !, working with West Adams Preparatory High School, were getting a bit discouraged going into this past week. We had not had the chance to meet with them in three weeks, as they had a test two Wednesdays prior and we were on Spring Break this past Wednesday. We were slowly but surely establishing relationships with the students. and, more importantly, they were getting more comfortable and understanding of our project. Taking this time off seemed to have hurt their confidence as well, as unfortunately none of the students actually recorded anything on their flip cameras.

With all of this in mind, we entered this past week with a more concentrated agenda to try to rally the kids around. Since they chose the topics of health, education, and music as their biggest interests at the beginning of the semester, we decided to incorporate all of these into a music video. The song we are going to create will feature a verse for each of the three topics, and the students will write the lyrics themselves each Wednesday as we aid them through their thoughts in groups that choose which topic they are most interested in.

When we narrowed our focus to one thing, a lot of the students seemed to jump on board. I would not say they were excited, but I do think they began understanding that they really have to help contribute if we want to get this ball rolling. Some of the students were eager to create lyrics and throw out ideas, while others were a little less hesitant. Even the hesitant students seemed somewhat interested and on the same page of understanding, however. Also, the students vowed to use their flip cameras to get some footage of their own this time. They broke into groups for each subject and will film on their particular interest, thus making it easier for them to feel confident that their efforts are contributing to the project.

With three more weeks of video capturing, I plan on continuing to encourage the students to film their own contributions on their flip phones as well as to gather ideas for the lyrics as we progress. Optimally, the students would be thinking of these ideas for the songs on their own in their free time. While this is definitely a long-shot at this point, I do not think it is entirely impossible. We will see, I am just happy to be on the same page as the students and am sincerely enjoying our times together.

We're in GFS 101 today (Thursday)

Please spread the word...and come prepared with some questions!

Going Green

Visiting with Ron, one of the core members at Green Grounds in Los Angeles, was nothing short of fantastic. As we drove out to his home, my partner and I were getting our heads together and coming up with a strategy as to how we would go about that afternoon. We didn't know too much about him or what exactly was going to happen, but we were told to come to the blue house on the street and that was a start. Sure enough, in a few minutes an electric blue house standing bright and proud greeted us at the way into the neighborhood. At first all I could think about was how fun the house was. So wild and playful. This guy had to be pretty swell to paint his house with such a colour. Even with that, I was immediately drawn in to the beautiful garden bordering the front walkway: leaves of brilliant greens and rich purples cascading in exquisite designs, flowers in full bloom, and herbs and vegetables so fresh we could smell it as soon as we opened the car door. It was nothing short of enchanting, to be sure.

Then, we met Ron. The master himself: a sturdy man in work boots, cargo shorts, and a black tank top. He came out and greeted us warmly, offering to take us around and show us all of his plants and projects and clearly not minding the attention to talk. He was completely at home and in his element right there walking up and down the row and rows of his masterpiece. And quite honestly, it was just brilliant. The garden itself was gorgeous, not to mention practical. He actually brought us along through the garden and allowed us to sample a leaf or two... or five... from a great variety of the flowers and foods in his yard. It was fantastic. And throughout he would speak up about the plants or about himself and his involvement. It was so great to hear him talk of inspiration and creation and motivation to get people involved and back to their "roots" in cultivating and taking care of the Earth.

It was wonderful to have gone out and visited with a person who's really IN the movement for green spaces. He gets it, and he's eager to share that knowledge and passion with others in a very real and exciting way. I look forward to talking with him again as well as the members of Green Grounds that I have not yet met.

Visitors this Thursday

Hello everyone:
Just wanted to let you know that we'll have some visitors to our class on Thursday--ex-convicts from a halfway house that's sponsored by one of our community partners. They'll be telling some of their life stories, and then we'll have time for Q&A, so please bring your ideas, insights and questions.

Issues, tasks, problems encountered at St. Francis Transitional House

One of the biggest concerns for the men at the house is to get a steady job going or going to school for their particular trades. It's frustrating, especially in our present economy, for these men who have been incarcerated for a number of years to get back into this market. We've witnessed the career workshops the St. Francis house holds and I can tell it's difficult for the men to stay highly motivated with the obstacles they deal with. Even something as simple as paperwork seems to get in the way at times. When the men are released it's up to them to track down their birth certificates from wherever they can find them in order to get an identification card or driver's license. Many of the men have voiced their concern regarding the system that seems inefficient or unjust in their favor to support their rehabilitation process back into society. We're hoping to document their concerns.

Blog 3: West Adams Preparatory: Issues or Concerns

Entry #3: What are the particular issues, tasks, or problems you have encountered or anticipate during your site visit?

Many of my friends and classmates that are not from the Los Angeles area often express a fear of the neighborhood surrounding USC. Additionally, when I volunteered for the admission office, I was often asked about safety at USC. Many of these people have stereotypes that South Central Los Angeles is a dangerous place infiltrated with gangs, violence, and crime. However, having grown up in South Los Angeles, I know that these perceptions are incorrect. From my experience living and studying in Los Angeles, and from my three visits to West Adams Preparatory School, I have never felt threatened or unsafe. Instead, at West Adams everyone has been helpful, nice, and welcoming to my group.

Thus far, I have only encountered a few minor challenges with my site and with the project but none of these have been related to safety. One of the main issues that I have encountered is finding a way to tell the students what we are doing in their classroom. It is very hard for me to explain the collaboration between our class and their class. It is also very important for me to show to the students that this is not community service from our part, and that we are not there to examine their lives, but that instead we are there to learn from each other. Sometimes it might also seem like this is OUR project because we are the ones filming them during the class time, although we have given them flip cameras for them to share whatever they want. Hopefully as the students get more comfortable with my group and as we continue to work with them these next week, they will hopefully better understand our purpose and what we are trying to do—collaborate and share something new with the world.

The second challenge that I feel my group might encounter is finding ways to engage students, as well as finding methods to motivate them to help out with the film. While most of the students have been cooperative, it still seems like there are some students that are not engaged or that do not seem enthusiastic about making a documentary. When I have attempted to speak to some of the students, they sometimes do not share or express their ideas. Just recently, although we gave the students flip cameras to record whatever they wanted, we were only able to get a few minutes of footage-- meaning that many of the students did not care to actually film something. Again, I hope that as we get to know them better, they will be more enthusiastic about this project.

Another small challenge that our group might face is that of getting students to give input and decide what they want to do, without our intervention. For example, although we might have some brilliant idea for the documentary, we need to always give them the chance to express what they want to do and the approach that they want to take. We can only guide them to those ideas. Also, sometimes it is also hard to get consensus because everyone in the class has different interests. Finally, since some of the students have expressed the interest to make a music video, or to make the documentary about music, I fear that it might be hard to find an activist message.

Overall, everyone at West Adams has been welcoming and nice to our group. There are some challenges and potential conflicts that my group might face, but I am sure that once we get to know the students better and once we brainstorm ideas with the students, we will succeed at creating a documentary that will send a clear activist message. Another way that I feel my group can get better input from students is if we go to the site with a detailed plan and a detailed assignment for the students. So for example, if we decided to make a documentary about fast food, we can have every student film shots of what they eat, or shots of students interviewing each other about the topic.

Entry Four

After a few weeks of working together, what have you learned about each other? Do you share anything in common? What (beyond the obvious) are the biggest differences. What are you learning about USC and how it is changing/confirming your existing preconceptions?

At this time I feel that our partnership with the Studio is just the catalyst for the relationship I am building with the project as a whole. I wanted to get into this particular topic because I was interested in the history of Los Angeles, but I never thought I’d be questioning the history of USC. I like the idea and that my teammates seem to be in the same place (not literally). We all came here for different reasons, but never really stopped to ask how USC came to be. Knowing more about the history of a place gives the people living there a better understanding of their own identity. I like this. I’m excited to apply it to seniors and the senior class gifts (because next year I will be a senior!). I’m learning that there’s a lot to learn. Since going to the Studio I’ve realized that there are a lot of questions to be asked. It’s not that USC is a cynical corporation trying to hide its sordid past, but to find out the dirt you just have to dig. So instead of trying to focus on the negative, we’re going to work with a yearly event hypothetically everyone should be aware of; the senior class gift. Because the initial awareness level on campus about senior class figts seems low, this is reinforcing my preconceptions about USC. I think that even if we are proven wrong here, that everyone does participate in the voting, that just making a documentary about the process will bring more awareness to the subject. Sharon (from the Studio) was excited by this notion, but she is all about activism and participation in history.

SoCalStudio Group in Motion!

My concerns were similar to Kristine’s prior to our latest group pow wow with Sharon. The Studio is jam-packed with colorful projects from videos of oral histories to a community board where anyone walking through can write their definition of love. Additionally, the entire studio is founded on exploring and revealing history (not very activist-driven, as Kristine pointed out).

We have finally narrowed our thesis and we have a direction! We will focus on the Senior Gift at USC. We plan to research past gifts and investigate the effects of donating (including the calling list donors are placed on as well as the gifts they elect to have their senior class name on). To make this project more activist, we will look into the senior gifts that would benefit the community (rather than benches or a new room for the University Park campus). Some ballot items have offered seniors the opportunity to give scholarships to kids in the community or benefit USC neighbors in other ways. These options (to our knowledge at this time) have yet to be selected.

The idea has a lot of potential as an activist piece (rich with history, of course), but it will be an effort to keep it from becoming a historical documentary or a showcase of USC. The group is aware of these issues and the more we talk about them, the further we are from actually making those mistakes. The team is pretty excited to have directive and I think we can keep that momentum as long as we meet frequently enough and keep brainstorming on our group blog.

Blog Entry #3

Issues at Fades for grades are sometimes getting the students to really expand what they are thinking. Because we have been interviewing the students in groups, they are sometimes shy to really say how they feel. Once you get them one on one or in smaller groups, great content comes out of it. We also currently don't have a set topic, so when we ask questions, they are open ended. This makes it hard for the students to understand what we are asking and they answer in a one-word answer. Yes or no and if its good or bad. Another problem we have been encountering is attendance during the time we have decided to come. Students try to get home before dark and the later it gets, less kids hang around school. Our time is at 4:30-6 pm, but the sun starts to set at 5:15 pm. This makes our group that we work with very limited. If we do want a bigger pool of students to interview and consult, we will need to come at 3-4:30 pm, which is the peak of the after school program with the largest attendance. Overall, Fades for Grades have been amazing and we all really enjoy the program. Our group dynamic is very strong and I think the students at Crenshaw really enjoy our presence.

My second visit to the Francisco House left me just as heavy-hearted as the first. I introduced myself to some of the people there, who were so friendly and genuine. I also greeted Ralph and I really appreciated that he seemed happy to see me again.

This time, the topic was on Control and Setting Personal Boundaries. It was a group of about 10 men gathered together on a Saturday morning. Martin led the meeting and shared his story of a Lawry's chef who managed to talk down on him and speak ill of him to other people over a missed phone call. As Martin vented his frustrations and the the other men shared their own accounts of being "played games with by even the LA County Sheriffs" and being disrespected, my heart really felt their helplessness. They asked, "why play on someone when they are in need?"

A criminal record has a life-long impact that follows these people wherever they go. No matter how much they transformed and truly desire to become positive members in the society, it is the others in the community who aren't willing to give them a chance. The Chef claimed to be helping these men by giving them jobs, but his condescending attitude towards their history really robs them of the respect that they deserve as human beings. The fact that these ex-offenders are out of prison and on parole indicate that they've earned another chance to be part of the society again.

Another man, Kenya, has been free for 3 weeks and after apologizing for being late to the meeting, expressed his thoughts. After 30 years of imprisonment, he is back in the real world and feeling like an alien. While everyone around him is impatient, always in a hurry, he is simply trying to take everything in and being thankful for support. He says, "take one step at a time and tomorrow will be a better day". These words are so true but I know that I don't practice it myself. It's a great experience whenever I come to Francisco House because what these people have to say seem so wise and enlightening. One man, Jessie, a devout Christian, quoted the Bible that there are wolves and sheep out there and they must be as kind as doves and shrewd as vipers. Interacting with these men really gave me a graver sense of purpose to my goal to give voice to their concerns, because they're not heard and they need to be. The difficulties that they experience will only become greater. They explained to us external problems such as the corruptness of the prison and judicial system, employment and finances and internal issues that they face in the reintegration process into society such as respect from others, taking in all the changes that have happened since they were locked in and so on.

It was a really insightful meeting and I definitely look forward to next Saturday.

Entry One

Cards on the table: I was raised rich, white, and male – and in an era and country that places an unduly vast value on all three traits. Hardship in my life has meant rules forbidding television or, later, having to purchase a car with my own money (the horror!). I've never gone hungry, or feared that I would. I've never lacked shelter or a warm coat. And I've also – most significantly – never been without a support system (aside from raised eyebrows and muttered disappointment at my choosing to study film production instead of something with a hope of providing financial solvency). In light of all this, any doubt that I live a life of pure advantage must utterly evaporate when faced with the struggles detailed by the residents of the Leighton Avenue Halfway House.

Upon entering the house for the first time, I was immediately struck by both the beautiful exterior, as well as the nicely-appointed décor within. I haven't lived in such luxury since leaving for college. In fact, the whole area is – despite common USC perceptions to the complete contrary – remarkably attractive; the neighborhood differs from the suburban development of my youth only in the scope of the structures, not the quality. It was hard to imagine anyone in such nice digs complaining, at least in good faith.

However, the reasons behind the well-maintained surrounds quickly became apparent, which equally swiftly exposed the underlying differences. At a basic level, residents of the house are ex-convicts, and therefore used to regulations requiring a clean cell, tidy workplace, etc. But on a deeper level, the care and attention to detail stems not from a feeling of obligation, but of gratefulness. It's a privilege to live there, not a right, and the residents want to show their appreciation in the most practical manner possible: by taking care of that with which they've been entrusted.

Trust is fundamental to almost every aspect of these men's lives, along with its conceptual kissing-cousin Respect. Martin, by far the most extroverted of the residents we met, spoke at length during our Saturday meeting about a specific employer whom he feels abuses both. It was his testimony that really made me understand what these guys are up against, in terms of finding work.

The employer in question apparently hires out of the house often, generally for landscaping or minor construction jobs. He is also known for being generally late with payments to the residents, and furthermore, usually speaks and deals with them in a degrading, abusive manner. I say he is “known” for this because everyone in the house is aware of it – several others who had previously worked for him chimed in after Martin with similar feelings.

Any other people faced with this situation would just look for work somewhere else. But the ex-cons simply don't have that option. They're offered work so infrequently that they really have no choice – despite this jerk leaving threatening voicemails late at night, and his penchant for complaining to Sister Julia (the ultimate authority of the house) about any perceived slight. As Martin pointed out, their only available course of action is to grin and bear it, since they can all be sent back to prison at any time if any hint of rebellious behavior is detected. It's a horrifying, dehumanizing hair-suspended sword under which they all must live.

So the meetings, whatever other purposes they also serve, seem particularly effective as just a place to be heard. The value of a witness, nothing more, cannot be overstated. I look forward to learning more about the specific situations of Martin and the others, as their perspective on the subject of unemployment is unique, but extends universally by way of their necessarily-repressed frustration.

Entry Three

After weeks of observation at my site, there weren't many problems. Some of the particular issues I have noticed at New Village have been keeping the students interested in what we are doing. It was difficult at first to keep there attention without them messing around, but through our recent discussions they have opened up and provided thoughtful commentary on issues which they might want to pursue for the documentary. Another issue which our group has discussed is to figure out how much of the documentary will be in their hands and ours. We need to set forth the distribution of the documentary. Also another task which I have encountered is that we haven't started taping anything because it has taken us awhile to get the students talking. I hope soon we will have a topic to start structuring what we will be doing. Also I feel like alot of girls don't want to be on camera which is perfectly fine! But i hope there will be some who will so we can show that they are working with us. Other than that the faculty at New Village is great and very helpful!!

So Cal Studio Project

Entry Three:
What are the particular issues, tasks or problems you have encountered or anticipate during your site visits?
The Studio is a visual cacophony of historical remnants of Los Angeles. I anticipate too much information to be able to sift through or even summarize into a five minute documentary. More problematic is the task of turning history into an activist discourse. As the director of the project, Sharon is very opinionated about the aspects of USC history that she feels have been covered up to protect the school from scrutiny. When compared to the oppositional point of view from USC representatives the results could be very interesting. We need to narrow down the history and pinpoint controversy (thought it might not be in our best interest as current students to stir the pot). Depending on the specific information from Sharon and then rely on documenting background work and interviews, we should be able to bring to light an activist standpoint on the history of USC.

Fades For Grades (2)

My second visit to Crenshaw High School definitely turned out to be interesting and fulfilling for the group. At first we were a little apprehensive because there weren't nearly as many boys as the last time, and some of the boys were new. We asked Rick if there would be an inconsistency in number for the rest of the semester, and his uncertainty made me a little nervous because I was really looking forward to building relationships with all of the boys. We decided to continue on with our plan, however, and we taught the boys how to work the cameras that we brought. We started out having them interview each other; they were a bit hesitant at first, but they got more into it when we started rotating and allowed them to ask whatever questions they wanted. They began to loosen up and show us different dance moves that they learned, and it was enjoyable to see how they interacted with each other.

Next we had the boys give us a filmed tour of their school. We split up in two different groups and walked around different parts of the campus while the boys pointed out different classrooms and areas. I really enjoyed how eager the boys were to let us into their world. Also, because we were a smaller group they were able to open up to us more about their lives and how their experience in this school has been. I was surprised to hear their candid stories and views about other students and themselves.

I think we were able to get some good footage for this visit, and it has definitely sparked some different ideas for us to gather for our final documentary.

West Adams

Last week was my first visit to West Adams Preparatory. The school was located not too far from campus and from what Mario (the teacher) told us, it was built only four years ago. My first impression of the school was that it did not fit into the community. Just from the outside, the architecture was modern and the color of the school was green. A possible explanation for this may be that the school wants to change the perception of West Adams as just another school located in downtown LA.

Upon our arrival, we had to go check into the office they were checking IDs for all visitors. I this was not much of a surprise for me because I have volunteered before for JEP and i know that the schools around USC are cautious about who they let into onto school grounds. I know that you can get onto my high school's campus through multiple entrances. Perhaps this is due to the "safeness" of a school.

When we met Mario he made it easy to take control of the class. We were talking to high school sophomores, some of which have teamed up with past WRIT340 classes, while others were taken by complete surprise. When we first explained why we were there and what we wanted to do, many of the kids were still indifferent and/or confused about the project. We had the students collaborate in groups of four to brainstorm. Still, i dont think the students really had a good grasp on what we wanted to do and so i told them past projects. Only when i told them about the video on jerking did they seem mildly interested in what we had to say. I know that this may have been a bad move because now I have primed them to think in certain ways but many of the students told me about their past project and told me that they were not interested in it at all. So i decided that it was a good action to take even though there may be repercussions. They came up with issues of fast food and perceptions of their school and neighborhood as well.

High school students are high school students so I know that the more we move away from academic topics and into lifestyle more popular culture/mainstream topics they are much more engaged. I am looking forward to seeing what we end up doing.

Friday night meeting with Carlos.

Rainy days make for real encounters. Friday night, pouring in Southern California, and I sped off to meet with Carlos on La Brea and Venice. I pick up Carlos outside his new apartment complex. He introduces himself respectfully, yet almost as if a friendship was already there. We had been in contact via text messages and I had heard from Amalia, the director of our site, that he was a great guy to talk to. There was a very brief moment of hesitation, but the conversation quickly took off.

Carlos spoke with a side-way manner and a unique movement of his mouth that speaks to what he has lived through. When he first began telling his story, his story began with him telling about how he just woke up in the United States as a kid. He said that the only thing he remembers is one day being in Mexico, and the next day, he woke up in the heart of Los Angeles. As I drove amidst the rain, his story had a sort of surreal tone to it. Surreal in the sense that time, place, and circumstance made it feel like Carlos’ story was something out of a movie, sitting right next to me. I tried not to be the overly shocked outsider that is extremely enthusiastic, and overly moved by his story. I remained connected, yet neutral because I didn’t want to affect the way he told his story. We drove to the La Paloma Market near the USC Parking center, where we continued to talk over dinner.

We went to the Chichen-Itza Restaurant that serves Mexican food from the Yucatan peninsula. Carlos was well educated, and said he had already eaten, but that just meant he was too shy to allow a stranger to buy him food. I ordered a couple of small dishes that I thought he and I would both enjoy. I asked him how his poetry piece had gone earlier that day, since he had let me know that he was part of a spoken word event earlier that day. He said it went well, and went on to sample some of his work off the time of his head. He said his talent in poetry helped him charm the girls. The conversation over dinner was all laughs, since he had me laughing at the numerous stories he told. The way he tells his stories, in combination with the actual story made it all humor. It was interesting to hear the different connections and edges to a story that often goes untold. For example, I never understood how love works for youth who are in and out of jail. Carlos answered with, “it just doesn’t.”He said he and his friends once exchanged pen pals to write to while in prison, and when he got out of prison, his then girlfriend smacked him for having been writing to her cousin. I felt at ease with Carlos, and I wanted him to know that. I laughed, and said “wooow, that’s crazy!” Every story followed with, “that’s nothing, this other time…”

The night overall was not this solemn time of sad life stories. Laughs made that night real. There were so many tragic and difficult things said, but what I would like to highlight is his humor in staying positive to get through every obstacle life has in store for him. Towards the end of our dinner, we noticed that there was a group of students meeting a room in the market place. A USC student came up to us, and asked if we would like to join the group as they heard poetry and spoken word from students and community members. It was quite the coincidence that we were there, but Carlos had already made plans with his girlfriend, and said he was a man of his word. “Next time,” we said, and I drove him to his Friday night date with his girl friend.

First Impressions

Before visiting Crenshaw High School to start the project with the Fades for Grades program, I talked about this assignment with some of my friends. Most of their reactions were pretty similar. They consisted of "Uhh... That's a pretty ghetto area" or "You're going with a guy there, right?" or "Wow, it's kinda dangerous." After receiving some interesting feedback about the school, which I'd never been to before, I went into the project wondering if my friends' perspectives would appear true.

Of course, their perceptions were exaggerated and influenced by what they heard from other people who also assume things about Crenshaw. Not only was the area around school peaceful and clean, but a group of random kids around the school parking lot were friendly and told us (a small group of three girls) how to get to the right building. None of them asked us why we were at their school or gave us any weird looks. While walking to the program site, I thought Crenshaw looked just like any other typical high school.

The students of Fades for Grades were also welcoming and friendly. Although Rick, the director, told us that they were a rowdy crowd, they were all very polite and well-behaved once three girls entered their territory (usually no girls are allowed). Although they must have felt a bit uncomfortable seeing my group and I come in, talking about doing a documentary with them, I thought that they were still pretty open with their thoughts and am hoping for them to grow more comfortable with us for the sessions to come. The boys mentioned some interesting things about the program, such as how Fades for Grades provided a "barber shop" experience, where they could all come together to talk about anything and everything freely. The boys also showed a lot of respect towards Rick, the director, saying how those that didn't have a father figure present in the household could be mentored through the program. Overall, each of those boys were full of life and had a lot of character. Although the meeting was brief for the first day, I could tell that most of the students there had some special talent, hobby or a drive to excel, whether that involved sports, the decathlon, arts, math, etc.

Saint Francis Halfway Home

My first visit to the Saint Francis Halfway home was beyond anything I could have ever imagined. On the drive over to the house I was a bit nervous because I knew how important it was for us as a group to establish a rapport. As we walked in and were introduced to a few of the men I noticed they had the Laker game on and were eager to get back to the game. It was at that moment that I realized that relating to someone who had spent twenty years in prison could start off as easy as talking about Kobe Bryant and the Lakers. After my initial set of nerves wore off we had the opportunity to meet more of the men as they slowly streamed in from each of the other halfway houses. That night they were gathering for a talking circle in which they woulc share one blessing of the day. As they went around and shared their one blessing, I couldn't help but think how nice all these men were. Though I knew these men obviously weren't perfect, they still took the time to make us feel comfortable and encourage use to partake in the talking circle. After the meeting I had the chance to talk to two of the men one on one, and Tiffany and I ended up giving them a ride back to to the other halfway house. I definitely left feeling inspired and eager to continue growing in these new relationships.

Carlos: An Inspirational Story

Meeting Carlos for the first time is a day I will never forget. As I sat and listened to his story, it brought me back so many memories of my own families’ struggles and hardships. As he spoke about his life prior to writing, I could not help but recall my brothers same endeavor, trying to find himself and dealing with the peer pressure. Like my brother, Carlos began to get involved in gangs and drugs at a young age (12 years old). However, Carlos’ story has a happier ending than my own. Now, at the age of 17, he says that he has been able to “cheat death” more than 3 times. Unfortunately, my brother did not have this same luck.

At first, Carlos was a bit hesitant to tell us about his life; however, it wasn’t soon until he openly began telling us detailed stories about his different encounters in the gang life and why he was taken to juvenile incarceration. He mentioned that what helped him survive in Juvenile Hall was a bulletin board he read while he was being taken away from his family. The bulletin board read, “write or be forgotten” it was here that he realized he wasn’t making an impact on himself nor his surroundings. He said that the thought of being forgotten is what frightened him them most.

While incarcerated he kept himself busy by writing. He wrote about anything that came to mind, his family, being in a gang, his friends, girls, feelings, etc. He used his poetry to release all inner feelings he had built up throughout they years. He wrote so much that, when he was finally release he had almost written an entire book. During this meeting, Carlos shared with us a few poems he had written while incarcerated. I think all of us were brought to tears at some point or another with his poems.

He continued by telling us about his new dreams and aspirations. He is now going to a great school in Santa Monica, and is no longer living in the same neighborhood. He is doing welling in school and has adjusted fairly quickly to the workload and school schedule. With the help of his family and Amalia, Carlos has been able to put is life back together again. He has given me inspiration to strive for achievement and fight even against all odds.

The Reality

Last night we met Carlos, an ex-gang member who just turned 18. We met him at his house, with his baby sister on his knee. Amalia and her husband introduced us and kindled the conversation while he got comfortable. She warned us that Carlos was shy, and this was definitely the case at the outset. However, after reading a few of his poems and hearing such positive feedback, he began to read with more intensity and explain them in more depth. As he spoke, it was difficult not to wonder at how such graceful reflection had sprang from such a chaotic life. Everyone in the room seemed to have the same sense of wonder as compliments and praise fell from their lips.

Upon later reflection, I wondered where this type of praise comes from. I’m not sure that makes much sense here, but what I mean to say is that I found myself somewhat tongue-tied by the situation. We all seemed to feel a great desire to tell Carlos that he would succeed, that he would go to college, and that all the guilt and pain he feels could be turned into wisdom and an antidote for those in similarly dangerous situations. However, the situation is not so simple. What Carlos seems to be aware of, far more than any of us, is that things will never be easy for him. From a sociological perspective, I can rattle off all the reasons why, but being face to face with someone who simply wants a minimum wage job and cannot get it because he is undocumented, well it all seems sort of ineffectual.

I guess my main point is this: I started out really wanting to provide a well-rounded perspective on the groups we work with – one that doesn’t isolate them as simply a sad story, but empowers them to suggest change and displays the energy that emanates from families of the incarcerated. However, I did not expect that we could fall toward the other end of the spectrum and paint an entirely rosy and inspirational picture of a very complex issue, and person. I hope that we will be able to work with Carlos to form something that explores the depth of the relationship between gangs and family, though it is alluring to settle on his own inspirational story.

Fades For Grades

My first vivid impression was how beautiful the surrounding neighborhood was. When I thought of Crenshaw, I thought of a not so nice of an area, but when I got there, it was beautiful. When I parked the car, we asked a group of kids for directions how to get to the classroom and they were very friendly as well. We didn't get any weird looks or questions of why we were there. It felt like any other high school setting. The students there were very approachable. The community is not like what your hear about in Boyz in The Hood or Menace To Society, it doesn't seem dangerous at all. My expectations were just that the neighborhood would obviously be dangerous with barbed wire and fences, but when we got to the school, it looked like any other public school.

The students we get to work with have great personalities! Im so excited for the project to get going because I can tell these kids have a lot to say and want to share it. The funny thing is that when we got there, being all girls, the boys froze up a little when doing introductions. It was really cute because Rick was apologizing because usually they are really talkative, but when three college women are in their presence, they become shy. The boys are very talented and driven from what we learned in our first meeting. Many are very active in after school sports teams as well as the academic decathalon team. The range of academic achievement is broad, so it becomes a brotherly mentor program rather than just a tutoring service. Fades For Grades not only covers academics, but we learned it is like a family, in which everyone is always there for each other. I am really excited to hang out with them again because these boys are genuine, interesting individuals!

SoCal History Group Challenges

What are the particular issues, tasks or problems you have encountered or anticipate during your site visits?

So far, the only problem or issue that I have encountered with site visits are the logistics behind scheduling. We are a larger group (and we prefer it that way!) but that provides an issue with being on the same page with the Studio. For example, I feel the first group that went had a different experience than the group that went just recently. We are all working together, but sometimes these things can be tedious to work around.

The only personal challenge I can foresee with this project (as of yet) is the view she wishes us to take on USC’s history. I understand that we can take whatever position we wish as filmmakers, but as Kristine mentioned, she has stories she would like to uncover about USC that will probably shed a negative light on Troy. I will be the very first to admit that if anyone at USC “drank the koolaid,” it would be me. Embarrassingly, I blindly imagine that USC could do no wrong, so purposefully displaying a negative light might produce a bit of cognitive dissonance within me. The one redeeming factor about all this is that I realize I hold these inner presumptions, and I am willing to work around them so that I can help my teammates produce a valuable documentary. With all that said, Fight on!

First Visit to W. Adams

I am not typically the type of person to develop pre-conceptions, beliefs, ideas, feelings, or judgements on a group or person before I have the chance to meet them and get to know them. Unfortunately, Wednesday was a bit of a disappointment because we did not get to meet the kids. However, I was able to see the property and crutch through the vast herd of high schoolers socializing between classes. As we were standing in the middle of the congested hallway I became somewhat nostalgic thinking back to my high school years. Thinking how fast they went by and how integral those years were in shaping who I am today.

This is what got me excited about working with west Adams. Not to relive my high school days, god no I would never want to do that again once was certainly enough. But to be there. That plain and simple. To be present. These kids don't need to be reminded of where their school is, their ethnicity, race, or social class. They need to be reminded that they are high schoolers. that high school is a period of 4 years in flux. You are not quite independent but you are molding who you are so you can be the ultimate best when you are. This is what high school should be about.

Which brings me back to what I started this whole thing off saying. I went to West Adams with no pre-conceived ideas about the school the kids, nothing. Although I did not get a chance to meet the kids we are to be working with I got a sense of the environment that they are immersed in everyday. A culture, a lifestyle, a generation that I am unfamiliar and ignorant. I was able to realize how little I know about these kids but am excited to learn about them. They are growing up in another time, almost another world than I did. A world where technology runs rampant. I expected little of my first trip to West Adams which was the best possible thing I could have done. Because it allowed me to dive right into this small world, this West Adams world on the corner of Vermont and Washington. That I would have otherwise been unable to enter.

My Visit to the Francisco House

Last night I had the privilege of meeting the men of the Francisco Transition House. I have to admit, it was a bit of a scary feeling knowing that the house to former ex-convicts was only a 5-minute car way from the University of Southern California. However, I knew that I had to go in with a open mind and an open heart. It was a bit of a shock when all the men living at the house welcomed us with open arms and smiles; it was then that I realized how much of a rewarding experience this would actually be.

Upon entering the house, I was immediately amazed by the elaborate décor of both the exterior and interior of the house. The home was so well maintained; as I looked around I could not see one once of dust in any corner and every room was so well kept. We began the meeting by introducing ourselves and listening to a few of the men’s stories. They didn’t seem to want to go into much detail about how they were incarcerated, but they were more than happy to speak about their lives in and before prison. As we waited for the official house meeting to begin, they told us a little bit about their struggles to find work and the negative association that comes with being an ex-convict.

The meeting was lead by one of the housemates and as we went around the room each person involved with Families of the Incarcerated was given an opportunity to say what they most appreciated most about their day. This is a Native American activity and the time was to be used for each member to openly state their feelings with no interruptions or hostility. Being able to listen to all the stories and unique experiences each individual person had been a rewarding experience. I look forward to learning more about each individual specific situation.

Transitional House Site Visit

Our first site visit to the transitional house was yesterday. They have meetings every Wednesdays and every other week would be talking circles, with certain topics for each one to share. At this meeting, there were about 20 men who attended, all from the four different houses that were opened by Sister Mary. I was a little early so I went in and got to meet some of the guys. Ralph was very friendly. As the house manager for 1135 Leighton Ave (the main and largest house), he's been living there for 10-11 months now. He's also a certified optomitrist and since he got out, he's been dealing with a type of arthritis that prevents him from searching for a job. On top of that, he mentioned that with such a record following him, it's difficult to find one.

The topic of the talking circle last night was Blessing of the Day. Philip from 40th Street Back House led the session. He's Native American and he brought along an eagle feather that has spiritual meaning to pass along the circle. I was really touched by the things that people had to say. What they found were blessing are everyday events that I take for granted, such as waiting in line at the mall or being in traffic. One guy said that he's just blessed to be alive and free. To me, that kind of thought never really goes through my mind. As much as I hate it make it to be about myself now that I'm more conscious after reading the articles, but hearing those guys really gave me a different perspective on my own life. I'm really looking forward to the next two months to get to know the individuals and am interested to hear what they have to say about the problems that they deal with. I just hope that once I do hear those problems that we, the guys and my group, are able to collaborate and create something that will draw attention and better change to their lives.

At the beginning when they asked us specifically why we are there, we were a little stumped because we didn't want to make it about ourselves and offend them in anyway. Nevertheless, they were very welcoming and warm towards us. Julie, a "facilitator" of these meetings, also spoke with us afterward about how society tends to group all the incarcerated people together and make judgement on the large rate of recidivism but they ignore that it's different for lifers. Throughout their experiences in prison, they really do alot of soul searching and most of them come out wanting to change and improve their lives. She said that it is really inspiring to work with them and I look forward to that as well.

Also, in terms of the way the Families group is established in our class, it's been a hectic and confusing process just to figure out who is in what group, at least for me. I admit I was a little caught up and worried about not having a group or having to work alone but I think having visited the site gave me a grander perspective that I shouldn't be worried about those things right now. What's important is building relationships with these guys and hearing them out on what changes they think would improve their lives and get them back on track into society. I guess it's okay that I don't really have a set idea about how I want the documentary to be. After all, it is a collaboration and the purpose is to give voice to our community partners, not me. So on that note, I do look forward to the next few months and I hope whoever I work with - my group and the individuals at the house, it'll be a learning and effective community changing process.

The neighborhood that surrounds Crenshaw High is not what you’d expect. There were quant, well-kept houses, lusciously green trees, and a light, cheery neighborhood vibe. My first visit was on the last Friday of the semester at 3:30pm. Thus, the campus, and the classroom were mostly empty. Rick, the site coordinator and director of after school programs at Crenshaw, greeted our group and lead us to his office. As most of the kids had gone home for the day, our meeting’s purpose was to get acquainted with Rick.

Right off the bat, our group could tell Rick was passionate about these kids. Throughout our meeting, kids would casually walk up to his desk and grab a pen, a computer game or just give him a high five goodbye. My group outlined our ideas for the Fades for Grades project. We discussed the idea of the kids conceptualizing and eventually writing and creating an EP (a three track album) using Ptones as a foundation to assist in the album production process.

I feel confident that my group’s relationship with Rick will be strong and supportive. Judging from Rick’s enthusiasm for our ideas, I am confident the kids will respond well and accept us into their after school lives. The classrooms that have been allocated for after school programs are deceiving. They fit cliché “don’t judge a book by its cover”. The outside was grey and had little vegetation or life. The inside is different story. The room’s perimeter is lined with computers, equipped with games, printers and the occasional scanner (all the equipment a young student would need). The wallpaper was bright and covered with photos of the kids and the schools after school schedule.

I am excited to meet the kids and begin our project. I look forward to my next visit to Crenshaw High School, something I didn’t think I’d say before I visited.

Saint Francis Halfway transitional house

We made our first visit to one of the halfway houses tonight. It really was an incredible experience. This program only deals with men who have life sentences. We met around 20 men tonight during their weekly group talk. We introduced ourselves and what we're trying to do and I think it was difficult for me personally to communicate what we're doing without seeming voyeuristic. We thanked everyone for letting us into their house and hoped to build sound relationships with them. While we introduced ourselves, one of the men asked what we were really doing there. Most of the men have served at least 17 years of their sentence in prison and some just arrived at the halfway house a few days ago and others have been there for almost a year. The topic for tonight's group talk was a daily blessing. Phillip, one of the members, started out the discussion and passed a feather along to each person when they spoke in hopes that each story would share the truth of how everyone was feeling. We didn't expect to be apart of this experience but the feather got passed to one of our group members by surprise I think. It made for an incredible experience because for me, at least, it really broke down some initial barriers that might separate us from the members. One man spoke of the blessing it was to see rain today for the first time because when he was first released he missed the rain just by a few days. I felt that the overall feeling from the group was that they felt blessed to wake up today and put their feet on free ground. The fact that we were able to participate in the discussion made the experience feel even more intimate, especially given the number of people in the room.

There are 4 transitional houses with around 7 to 8 men living in each. The house we visited tonight was the main house with the most residents. Each house has a "house manager," who is a member of that house but for the most part they are not supervised on a constant basis. Bryan, one of the members, talked to me about how a few other programs are a lot more strict than St. Francis, in terms of surveillance of the members.

A few of us mentioned in our blessings how we felt that being at the house was the highlight of our day. At the end of the group talk Phillip mentioned and welcomed us on behalf of everyone in the house. I'm really looking forward to our next visit and to building relationships with the men.

New Village Charter High School

Upon arrival at the New Village Charter School, my first impression was that the facility is very nice and that there are great accommodations for girls with various life circumstances. We were met by Diana Harrelson, who provided a brief introduction concerning the school and the girls attending it. New Village has a block scheduling system, which incorporates different subjects along with a daily advisory period where they participate in transcendental meditation. Flexible scheduling is important, since approximately forty percent of the girls attending the school are pregnant or have small children. The site has a daycare for the girls’ children, if needed, and even housing for girls who are not fortunate enough to have stable households to live in. It is clear that the teachers and staff members are wonderful people who have invested a lot time and effort into helping these girls become confident and independent individuals. Another great feature of the program is that each girl is able to share her career interests with her advisor, who then arranges an internship based upon her preferred profession. We did not get a chance to interact with the girls a great deal on our first day because of the limited timeframe. We were, however, able to sit in on an advisory period to observe the class structure. We felt, and Diana agreed, that the girls appeared to be very distracted from what was going on in the class because of our presence there. They whispered, giggled, and texted as Diana attempted to conduct the advisory with a disposition much like a stern parent. It may take a few visits for the girls to warm up to us and fully understand the project, but it is a positive undertaking that will result in an enlightening experience for both parties.

Reflection on Visit to West Adams Prep

Today was my first visit to West Adams Preparatory-- a recently built high school within LAUSD. I grew up in the area and attended high school not far from West Adams, so for me this was not a new or shocking experience. Instead, it did bring back a lot of memories about my own high school experience. Everything went smoothly and people were friendly and courteous to Lonnie and me.

When we arrived at the site we met with Mario, the teacher who we are going to work with throughout the semester. A few of my other team members had already met with him, but because his schedule was rearranged, they did not get to meet with the students. Fortunately, Lonnie and I arrived just in time to sit in his 12pm sophomore literature class.

Mario was welcoming and he helped us tremendously. He gave us 30 minutes of his class time to speak with the students and to introduce ourselves. I think it was hard to explain to the student what we were doing at their school. We wanted to be careful not to say or make it seem like we wanted to study them or help them (community service), but that we wanted to form a collaboration between two classes-- that we were working together to learn from each other.

Once we managed to explain our project, Lonnie and I went around asking students for their ideas about what they would be interested in sharing with the public. Many of the students did not have any ideas, so we often had to use examples. We told them about the documentary on jerking and how the film tried to explain to people what jerking really is --a lifestyle. We asked that they write down a few ideas. These were some of the responses that we got and that I found creative and possible for our documentary: “why is it that there are a lot of fast food restaurants near our school?”, “people should know that West Adams is a normal school, just like other public schools in LAUSD”, “changing negative thoughts of our school by providing success stories and programs that have helped”, and finally “finding out what people really think of our community and West Adams.”

I am excited to work with the students and to collaborate with them to create a unique documentary. I was impressed by their responses, especially since we had already discussed some of these in our class (fast food, perceptions of the neighborhood, etc).

Who Knew There Was So Much to Know?

The Studio for Southern California History was actually not what I expected at all. Our contact, Sharon, was very energetic (I had imagined a librarian), the studio was noisy and colorful (I pictured a sterile museum) and the venue was plopped in a storefront in the middle of Chinatown (for some reason, I had pictured it in a quieter area, like Pasadena). The Studio feels very neighborly despite being surrounded by buildings and stores on a busy street.

After spending a little time exploring the Studio (which boasted walls and boards covered in locals’ scribbled love notes and signatures), Sharon and her three interns led us on a walking tour of Chinatown. We were lucky to be visiting as the neighborhood rehearsed and prepared for Chinese New Years celebrations. I was really surprised that just a few minutes from campus, an entire community was setting off fireworks and putting on dragon costumes for a holiday I wasn’t even aware of. That’s rather embarrassing to admit; I suppose it makes me sound uncultured.

The community tour was intended to inspire us as we develop a project on the history of USC. More than anything, I left the tour and the studio inspired to explore. The Studio had so many anecdotes about the surrounding area and hearing them made me want to know about the hidden history of everything around me. I love exploring LA, but I rarely go off the beaten path (I go to tourist favorites and local hot spots).

This weekend, I decided to try to get lost in LA (safely, in a car and not by myself). I took back roads and avoided the freeway, winding around Hollywood and ending up in Burbank. I still can’t believe how much I don’t know about the city I live in and even the campus I’m a part of.

Round One at West Adams

Our first trip to West Adams was productive, although it turned out differently that we expected. Mario is very welcoming and happy to accommodate whatever we plan to do for our documentary. Because his class schedule got rearranged, he was not meeting with students when we arrived. It worked out really well because we got to sit down with him for an hour and talk about the history of the school and what we plan to do.

Mario warned us to be careful with topics like gangs, which can pigeonhole us into an area that does not encompass the student’s lives and the experiences they have at West Adams. We decided that we will start our first meeting with the students – juniors at West Adams – by asking several specific questions in order to see what directions we can take our film. We’re hoping that the students want to be involved in the filming process. As suggested in class, we want to make sure that the students are able to take control of the filming and make a documentary that they can be proud of.

Because we planned to primarily focus on the students, we didn’t expect to learn so much about the history of West Adams. Only four years old, the high school began as a hybrid of LAUSD and it’s own governing board. Because the board makes many of the decisions for the school, West Adams has special opportunities that other schools in the district don’t have. They also have a partnership with Mentor LA that provides students with exciting experiences like bringing a famous chef to the school to work in their culinary arts classes.

Our documentary will very possibly cover the aspect of overcrowding at West Adams. The administration has had to cap the number of students and West Adams is not able to take students for next year’s freshman class. The students who are on the waiting list for West Adams are bused to other schools like Venice High School.

There is also a high turnover rate with teachers. Out of 150 current teachers, only 10 were part of the group that founded West Adams. Because West Adams lacks the space to give each teacher his or her own classroom, they share classrooms and some teachers rotate to as many as four classrooms in one day.

Between West Adams history, its teachers and what I’m sure we’ll learn from its students, we are excited about the many directions we can take our documentary. I can’t wait to meet the students next week.